Why Golf is Just Expensive Lawn Darts (and We Love It Anyway)

If you’ve ever stopped mid-round, looked at your buddy slicing a $5 ball into a pond, and thought “Why do we do this to ourselves?” … congratulations, you’re a golfer.

Let’s be honest: golf is basically a glorified game of lawn darts. Only instead of tossing a dart at a circle in the grass, we whack a tiny white ball into the great unknown and hope it lands somewhere respectable. Usually, it doesn’t.

And yet… we keep coming back. Why? Let’s break it down.

1. The Target is Always Moving (Well, Technically, We’re Just Bad at Aiming)

With lawn darts, you toss, it lands, done. With golf? You’ve got wind, bunkers, water, that one tree branch that seems to lean just a little more every time you play… Oh, and let’s not forget the biggest obstacle: your own swing

2. Golf is Way More Expensive Than Lawn Darts

Lawn darts: $20 at the toy store

Golf: mortgage payment + $6 hot dog at the turn.

We won’t mention the $300 rangefinder you absolutely needed to miss the green by 40 yards instead of 50. (Don’t worry, we sell them cheaper & we won’t tell your spouse.)

3. Lawn Darts Don’t Come With Buddies, Banter, and Beverages

The real reason we play golf isn’t the score—it’s the company. It’s the bad jokes, the cart rides, and the eternal debate of whether that was a “gimme” or not. Lawn darts never gave you a 19th hole.

4. Golf is the Most Frustrating Zen Experience Ever

Golf teaches patience, humility, and how to invent brand-new curse words under your breath. Unlike lawn darts, you can’t just throw harder and win. The more you force it, the worse it gets. (Kind of like dancing.)

5. At the End of the Day… It’s Just More Fun

Sure, golf is basically lawn darts with a country club membership—but it’s also exercise (kind of), therapy (mostly), and a reason to buy cool gadgets (definitely). So yes, golf is just expensive lawn darts… but it’s OUR expensive lawn darts.