Golf: The Only Sport Where Walking in the Woods Counts as Exercise

Let’s be honest: most golfers spend as much time in the woods as actual hikers. Only difference? We’re wearing polos instead of hiking boots, and we’re desperately looking for a $5 golf ball instead of enjoying nature.

1. Golf is Just Birdwatching with Clubs

Nothing says “outdoorsy” like crawling into the brush to find your ball while a squirrel mocks you. Golfers can identify more trees, birds, and poison ivy patches than the average Boy Scout.

2. The Cardio is… Questionable

We tell our doctors we “walk 18 holes.” What we don’t say is we spend half that time sitting in a cart, and the rest trudging angrily into the woods to find a ball we’re about to give up on anyway.

3. Mosquitoes are Part of the Experience

Forget fitness trackers—nothing gets your heart rate up like 10 mosquitoes attacking you while you whack through the brush.

4. Inner Peace (or Insanity)

Some say wandering in the trees is calming. Others say it’s maddening. Either way, it’s basically “golf yoga.” Breathe in, shank out.